Hold On!

Who can explain fears? I certainly can't. As a child, I wasn't a complete scare-dy cat, but being outside in the dark was an issue and spiders continue to be problematic and one or two other things give me the creeps. All in all, I'm fairly brave….I think. Even though I know people who don't mind the dark and love spiders, it makes me want to ask those people what is wrong with you?? It's true that some folks will shake while walking in the dark and others will relish the peace and quiet found there. There are other things that leave some people wide-eyed and sweaty--like public speaking. Some will eagerly jump on a stage while others would rather clean a toilet than stand in front of a crowd.

Fears are strange creatures--often times unexplainable and often times- life altering.

This past week, we spent the week in fantasyland with my son and his three children. The fantasyland was Disney World where everyone sings and dances and life is good… except, if you are a child who has a fear of adventurous rides. I'm pretty sure adventurous rides were in Walt Disney's game plan from the beginning and were never intended to scare a six year old to death, but my youngest grandson, Aevin, must have missed that memo. At six, he was the perfect age for Disney. We were so excited to take him and looked forward to watching this little fireball laugh and scream his way through all the Disney parks. After all, he has no trouble facing another football player twice his size. He's a tough little kid. But, to our dismay, at Disney, the place for kids, he was afraid of EVERY adventure Disney offered. Rides that have brought thrills and chills to children for the past 40 years had Aevin trembling like a leaf on a windy day. Okay, there were two exceptions—the tea cups and Dumbo's amazing flight—the two oldest Disney adventures--built before new technology. I know; it's sad.
We should have seen it coming. Looking back, there were a few clues. The morning we arrived we happily paid our $14.00 for the privilege of parking our car and then, gathered our belongings. We headed for our first ride—the shuttle. The friendly voice from the front of the Disney shuttle calmly reminded us that children should be seated between the adults. Aevin, who never misses anything, got this. He made sure he was between us and then asked, "Is this ride going to be fast?" NOTE--clue number one. But we didn't recognize this as a clue; we just knew this was new territory for him. So we told him it's not very fast and went back to our trembling---caused by the unusually cold weather Florida had the week we were there!! (WHO KNEW??) This seemed to satisfy him and we still had high hopes for him joining us on Space Mountain.
The next "ride" we faced was the monorail. If you have never been to Disney, the monorail is the magical ride into the Magic Kingdom. It has been this way since Disney opened its doors. My grandparents lived in California during my childhood, so we were riding the monorail at Disneyland back when we had black and white pictures. At that time we thought the monorail was the "wave of the future' travel. I'm still shocked that it's not how we get to work today. As a kid, I was absolutely confident this would be the mode of transportation in 2010. In any case, the monorail is completely safe and no body part is even out of the train. Still Aevin had never been on one. Here came clue number two. The crowds were not as they can be in the summer, but still the monorail filled up quickly and we scrambled to get our seats. Of course, we couldn't all get a seat and our polite men were left standing. Aevin noticed this and just before "blast off" he looked up at his 2-papa and screamed, yes, literally, screamed"2-Papa, find something to hold on to!" Our hopes for Space Mountain were pretty much dashed. Little Aevin's fears were destined to keep him from "enjoying the ride"—Space Mountain just being one of them.
Isn't this true for all of us? As I said earlier, our fears can be as different as snowflakes and only those who share the same fear can understand the impact that fear can have on one's life. As we approached each "scary" ride, Aevin would start complaining about his stomach hurting. He even said he might throw up. It's easy to think this is pretty dramatic unless you have been there and, I believe, most of us have, at some point, been there. No matter how unexplainable a fear is, it is real to the person suffering through it.
Life is a roller coaster. It's a ride full of ups and downs and twists and turns and is often very scary. But, it's a ride we all want to take. There will be days when our fears will threaten to keep us from being as "in the moment" of that day as we need to be. We will have days that seem too frightening for us to face. It may be the loss of a spouse or the termination of a job. It may be dealing with a child who is challenging or an illness that threatens our current abilities. Our stomachs will hurt and our hands will shake if we don't take Aevin's advice and find something to hold on to. Matthew 10:28 in The Message tells us that God holds our entire life—body and soul—in his hands! Isn't it comforting to know that God is already holding on to us? Even on those days when we are too weak or too scared or too tired, He is already holding us in His mighty hands.
Have a great week—hold on to the one who can give your freedom from your fears.

Holiday Hugs,
Chrys

God-Our A Spiritual Retainer

The past two weeks have brought two milestones to our family. First, our oldest grandchild got his LEARNER'S PERMIT to DRIVE—that's huge!!! My, oh my, where has the time gone? I can remember-- in PERFECT detail-- picking him up—him being first born grandchild, John Luke— from Mother's Day Out and purposely taking the back roads so he could sit in my lap and "drive" us home. He had such good driving skills then. He could turn the car on a dime. Backing out—no problem; parking—a breeze; right turn, left turn—easy! Propped up tall and straight, I trusted him completely. Yeah, right! What I trusted was my ability to control his little hands, making sure we stayed safely between the oncoming cars and the ditch that could potentially harm us. With me in control, I knew we would be safe. It's a different story now. He begs to drive everywhere we go and I reluctantly say yes. I told him the other day that I'm just nervous because I can't sit right beside him or with him in my lap. He smiled his sweet smile and patiently listened to me give him driving tips and say slow down a few hundred times.

Milestone number two. This same grandchild, John Luke, came over last night to reveal a smile so bright it could melt an iceberg. Well, if the iceberg were his grandmother (trust me, if you're not a grandma yet, it doesn't take much). He had just gotten his braces off. Most of you either went through the braces ordeal personally or with your children, so you know the excitement of getting them off. Remember that slick, smooth feeling your teeth now seemed to have? After my FOUR years of braces, I loved to run my tongue over my smooth teeth. What a great, freeing feeling that was!. Those poor teeth had been "controlled" for months. But would they stay that way? Could they handle their newfound freedom or would they ease back into their original crookedness?

Oddly enough, these two milestones have so much in common. You may be ahead of me and have figured it out on your own. Both of these milestones have to do with control and freedom. John Luke has reached the next stage in his life, just as his teeth have. With the twist of a wire or a well placed tiny rubber band, the orthodontist had the power to make John Luke's teeth straight or crooked. And, as I held John Luke's tiny hands tightly in my own, I had the power to make our car go straight or crooked.

Just as it is for John Luke, it is for each of us and for our children. Letting go is never easy, but the alternative isn't welcome either. There isn't a parent alive who would wish their child to stay in a state of childishness. Oh, we all cry from time to time at the swift passing of years. We sometimes look at pictures with a sense of melancholy, thinking it would be fun to hold our teens as a baby just one more time. But, in reality, no one wants their children to stay children. It's not natural. But, it's not easy giving over the control we once had and letting them make decisions—decisions that could determine whether their path stays straight or becomes jagged.

To keep teeth straight, the orthodontist fits us with a retainer. I'm sure you remember that as well. A retainer is important as it's job is to keep newly straightened teeth in place. It helps "control" shifting. Obviously, no two retainers are alike and the length of time needed will vary because every mouth is different. Hummm….that's a little like the learner's permit, don't you think? For a length of time, an adult will still have a little control. The newly trained driver cannot go out alone--yet. But, it's not permanent. A learner's permit and a retainer are only for a short time. Ultimately, our teeth and our children will be TOTALLY on their own.

That could be very scary EXCEPT, as Christian moms, we know that our children are never totally alone and niether are we. We have a loving Father who stands ready and is capable of holding our hands while we drive and acts as our "spiritual retainer" to guide our steps and keep us going in the right direction. I love how the Message says Psalms 54:4: "Oh, look! God's right here helping! God's on my side, Evil is looping back on my enemies. Don't let up! Finish them off!" Don't you love it?

God is right here, right now, right there for YOU and YOUR children!

Have a great week, leaning on the awesome God who loves to sit right beside YOU and "drive" YOU to Godly greatness.

Hugs, Chrys

Put the Thanks Back in Thanksgiving

Have you seen the cute commercials running right now advertising Disneyworld? The Disney marketing team has apparently found actual video footage from families who have told their children they are taking them to Disneyworld. I just love it! The kids are at first stunned and stare in disbelief, then they question the parents again, then they start jumping up and down on the couch screaming with excitement. So adorable!

When was the last time you got so excited about something happening in your life that you jumped up and down on a couch? I'm sure it's been quite a while. Even if you had an event that evoked that level of excitement, as adults, we rarely express it that way; right?

Well, we have an event coming up that you should be "jump up and down on the couch" excited about and that is Thanksgiving. "Oh…is that all?" you ask. IS THAT ALL! It's just the one day our entire country sets aside time to be THANKFUL. That's all! Now, think about it. We have a holiday that's only purpose is to exercise our vocal cords with two little words, "Thank You."

In one of the original Thanksgiving documents it reads "All ye Pilgrims with your wives and little ones gather at the Meeting House, on the hill… there to listen to the pastor, and render Thanksgiving to the Almighty God for all His blessings."

So simple. So sweet. You mean there was no mention of school being dismissed, booking your airline flights, stocking up on Stouffer's Stuffing Mix, making plans for Black Friday, looking up the recipe for pecan pie, designing a cute centerpiece made with little pilgrims and corn stalks, watching two or three football games, assembling a 1000 piece puzzle, gobbling up sweet potato casserole, catching the latest movies, snapping pictures at the school program, and settling in for the Macy's Day parade??? I can almost hear one of our forefathers saying, "I just meant for everyone to be thankful. That's all. Ye have taken Thanksgiving to another level!"

Yes, YE have! Somewhere down the line, apparently some people got "jump up and down" excited and started adding more and more "things" to our list as a way of celebrating Thanksgiving--all good and fun things, for sure. BUT the one most important thing may have slipped off the list—saying thank you and being thankful.

I love school programs and the Macy's day parade as much as you do, if not more, but we have to go back to our roots on this one and put the "thanks" back in Thanksgiving. Let's all be sure we include time in our celebrating to let our children EXPRESS their thankfulness to God for the blessings in their life.

Colossians 3:15 says it so well,"Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful." It really IS that simple.

Have a blessed Thanksgiving week. Give God the glory!

Hugs,

Chrys

What a Deal!

And the debate continues. Seasoned psychologists, educated child experts, experienced doctors, nervous moms, and sleep-deprived dads-- everyone has an opinion. Should or shouldn't children be allowed to come into their parent's room at night? Ask any child and the answer is "Yes, of course". Ask any parent who has had a wiggling, kicking, bed-wetting child in their bed lately and the answer is a resounding "NO!" Ask any grandparent who only remembers snuggles and giggles and the answer is "Sure, what does it hurt?"

For many, including people from other countries, they can't figure out what makes this topic so controversial. But for those who argue against the practice, we are warned that children could form an irreversible dependence on the parents or a child could be smothered as a soundly sleeping parent might roll over without realizing it. Truth be told, I'm guilty of having one or two grandchildren in our bed quite often. So, I'm not one to debate the issue. In fact, for the better part of the past two weeks, I have found my half of our roomy king size bed reduced to approximately six inches, give or take an arm or a leg.

While the debate rages on, I think most people would agree on why a parent's room is so enticing for children. In a healthy family environment, children come into a parent's room looking for safety, security and warmth. For a brief time, parents love this about their children. Often, the first night young parents hear the sound of tiny feet scampering across the room, they actually smile. They reach down and help their little darling, who isn't quite big enough to climb up yet, reach their destination. Then mom and dad settle in for what they believe to be a sweet, one-time, precious moment in parenting history. But, soon the joy of the moment is gone. The trip to mom and dad's room becomes a way of life and night, after night, the child wedges between mom and dad. He or she falls quickly to sleep, leaving the parents to spend agonizing hours trying to get comfortable with an extra limbs flailing around the bed. Yes, once this fun begins, children seem to set an internal alarm clock telling them exactly when mom and dad have dozed off and it's safe to go to their room.

A few years ago my son, who loves his children very much, found himself dealing with this issue. He had finally reached the breaking point and came to the conclusion most of us parents (that excludes grandparents) eventually come to--children have stay in their own beds! In an effort to put a positive slant on it, he took the route that I'm sure psychologists would find most appropriate---offer money. One night he sat his two little ones down for a little talk. They were three and five at the time, so I'm sure they weren't too happy about this conversation. But, he had a good plan. He told them that if they stayed in their bed all night he would pay them one dollar, but if they got into his bed that night, they would owe him 25 cents. Feeling rather proud and confident of his plan, he kissed them good night and put them to bed.

Awww….a night with no feet in my back, he thought. But, around 2:00 AM, the familiar pitter-patter of little feet was heard once again, only this time it was followed by a clinking sound and then a little warm body settled in for the night. The next morning my son discovered the source of the clinking sound as he found two dimes and a nickel on the nightstand beside his bed. A very smart five-year-old had decided it was worth the money to share his parent's bed, so he paid his way in.

Oh, what lessons our children teach us! Twenty-five cents was nothing to pay for the warmth, security and love one little boy needed during a dark, lonely night. What price would you pay for warmth and safety on a dark lonely night? Twenty-five cents? Twenty-five dollars? No price would be too high if the return was what you needed, would it? But the reality is the price has already been paid. I love the words to the song that says, "He paid a debt he did not owe. I owed a debt I could not pay." A long time ago, God put two dimes and a nickel beside our bed and said, "Climb in. I'm here to hold you tight and keep you safe."

Have a great week, resting in the arms of Jesus.

Hugs, Chrys

A Sweet Reward

Okay, I heard the sweetest thing last night. After a very busy "out of town" weekend, I rushed home to attend a church event. I threw some cookies in the oven, unpacked the toiletries, freshened up my makeup, grabbed the warm cookies and flew out the door. My suitcase was still to be unpacked and, since I hadn't had internet reception, emails were waiting to be answered. But I could get to that later in the night.

I picked up my daughter and her four children and we headed out to enjoy the fellowship of people we love. It was so fun getting to share some car time with my precious grandkids and listen to the things they had done for the weekend. But, that wasn't the sweetest thing of the night.

As I arrived at the church event, I was greeted by three more of my grandchildren. I had only been gone three days, but you would have thought it was three months. Each one jumped in my arms (even the ten year old—I told my back it was worth it), and gave me the biggest hug. But, that wasn't the sweetest thing.

Later, after we ate and fellowshipped with our church family, we went down to a campfire area where we sang songs of praise and worshipped under the stars. It was such a blessing to have three generations singing and praying together as we looked up into the clear, starry sky. It was amazing, but that wasn't the sweetest thing.

As the evening came to an end, the youngest grandchild, Aevin, began asking to spend the night. My brain was saying, "it's not a good night" but my heart and my mouth said, "Sure." After all, work can wait, but little children grow up way too fast.

So, home we came and, since Aevin had been outside in the dirt all evening, a bath topped our priority list. I ran some water as he scrambled out of his clothes and encouraged me to make it warm. There's nothing like a warm bath on a chilly night, even for us moms, right? Rare, but nothing like it!

As Aevin played with the bath toys and chattered about the things we did at the fellowship that night, I listened with one ear and unpacked my suitcase. Then he said, "I made up a song last night for daddy." Of course, that got my attention. "Well, then, sing it for me," I said. "You know that song, we sing about God? I changed the words," he said. I was intrigued and then came the sweetest thing.

"Oh, Dad, you are my dad and I will ever love you. Oh, Dad, you are my dad and I will ever love you, "Aevin belted out with a twinkle in his eye. How precious is that?

My son is a single dad who works hard every day to make his home one that is God-honoring and secure for his children. His journey has been a difficult one and I have certainly helped him, but I have not taken the job of raising his children away from him. He has risen to the challenge and I think this song of praise from a child to his earthly daddy is proof that he has been successful.

Many of you are living through difficult times, perhaps you're a single mom. Psalms 3:5 says "I lie down and sleep; I wake again, because the LORD sustains me." Many nights you may go to bed thinking you cannot handle another day, but you do because you know that God will sustain you. He will wrap you tightly in his arms just as a loving earthly father does and when you wake up, you will be renewed and armed to face a new day. Your rewards may not be monumental in worldly terms, but a song, a touch, or a smile from a child who loves you will tell you that you matter and make a difference!

Have a blessed week resting in your Father's mercy and grace.

Hugs, Chrys

The Silent Treatment

Recently, we were able to spend some time with good friends we have known for a very long time. When "old" friends get together, generally the conversation goes back to something that happened in the past that was funny or something that involves our children.

One friend reminded us of a story he had told us many years ago about his daughter. She was one of those challenging children. You know the kind—they LOVE to question everything a parent says and they think having the last word is their God-given right. She was definitely one of those and they spent many years molding and shaping her to be the sweet young lady she is today. But, on many occasions, she certainly helped them fine-tune their parenting skills. You may be in that position yourself right now.

Well, on one particularly trying day, this child had challenged and challenged until her mother had no recourse but to get right in her face and say, "Do NOT say another word and if you do, there will be severe consequences!" (Sound familiar? Yeah, it does to me too.) This normally patient mom was worn completely smooth!

Surprisingly for mom, the child ceased talking and the mom felt as if she had really made some progress. Hearing no sound coming from her normally very vocal daughter, the mom confidently walked away to continue making supper. But, dad, who was peeking from behind a newspaper, noticed what the mother could not see—the now silent daughter had her hand over her mouth guaranteeing no sound could come out, but her head shaking violently "NO."

Many years ago, a man named Art Linkletter bought stories of children who said, as he put it "the darnest things" to the American public's attention. In the above story, this child didn't say a thing, but her insides were speaking loud and clear—she was NOT on the same page as her mother.

There are many lessons to be learned from this child's response. One would be that even as adults we may be silent, but our body language sends messages to our husbands and children that may not be God-honoring. Another and a more important one would be concerning God. How many times do we silently let God know we are unhappy or disappointed or in disagreement with Him? We don't verbalize it, but our actions speak for us and those actions tell God that we do not trust Him to handle the situation.

Our God is a deliverer! It's that simple. What He promises to happen, will happen! And we are promised that if we put our hope in Him, He will take care of us.

I will leave you with the same message Paul gave the Romans found in Romans 15:13:

"May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit."

Don't give God the silent treatment. Open your heart and let him FILL you with joy and peace.

Hugs,

Chrys

 

 

 

 

Put God on the Decorating List

Well, the rush is on. While pumpkins are snuggling down in the pumpkin patch, the Christmas trees pace the floor to gained the prized position. In fact, Christmas decorations no longer get their own season as the familiar green and red colors now share shelf space with scarecrows, pumpkins, and an assortment of pilgrims and turkey platters. No wonder time goes by so quickly these days. Marketing geniuses have us living three seasons in ONE! I find myself confused as to which holiday I'm supposed to be decorating for!

This marketing strategy is also partly to blame for the "stressed to the max" feeling we can get this time of year. What's a busy mom to do? Here's one thing we can do. Don't get distracted by all the glitz and glamour of upcoming holidays and forget about what is really important. Take a minute to breathe and remember the words to an old hymn, "I need thee every hour." Now, here's where another distraction could happen. Don't be distracted by the word "thee", which is "old school" talk to us today. Rather take a minute to think about what that hymn really says. I'm going to modernize the words for us all so we can eliminate one distraction. Read with me:

I need You every hour, most gracious Lord;
No tender voice like Yours can peace afford.
I need You, O I need You;
Every hour I need You;
O bless me now, my Savior,
I come to You.

We do need God every hour, don't we? Sometimes we have him on our calendar book in terms of weekly or maybe daily, but in reality, we need Him hourly. In around 1968 hours, we celebrate the birth of Jesus, but we shouldn't let one hour pass without celebrating His greatness, goodness, and love. As the "stressful" holiday season is fast approaching, you can quickly de-stress by closing your eyes and praising God. Truly, there is no voice like His, no comfort greater than He can give, no joy that can measure up to what He can supply.

So, while you're out and about either looking for a candle to make your home smell as comforting as an apple pie on chilly day or new decorations so your home will look as festive as the White House at Christmas, remember to stop, look and listen for God. He's the decorator of all things beautiful and He never has to be put up in the attic.

Have a GRRRR-EAT day.

Hugs,

Chrys